How To Encourage Independence in Children

Encouraging independence in children is crucial for their over development and future success. Independence builds confidence, increases ability to see others perspectives, develop problem solving skills, and helps children learn from their mistakes. The more independent children become, the more equipped they will be when navigating peer relationships and advocating for their needs. Children also gain insight into their own self image, understanding what works best for them, what they like, what they do not, etc.

Providing independence in children looks different based on age. It is important to note that when giving your child independence on a larger scale, expectations must be set on what that means and not using their independence appropriately can result in such independence to be taken away. Here are specific ways you can encourage independence based on age.

Ages 3-4

• Cleaning up toys

• Picking out what outfit they want to wear (provide two options)

• Brushing teeth independently 

Ages 5-8

• Cleaning their room

• Cleaning up toys

• Feed a pet if they have one

• Guide them to problem solve independently before needing an adult

• Hygiene (brushing teeth on their own, brushing hair, etc.)

Ages 9-12

• Encourage decision making 

• Guide them to problem solve independently before needing an adult

• Packing own lunch

• Hygiene (independently getting ready for bed and school)

• Putting dishes in the dishwasher

• Unloading the dishwasher

• Independent homework 

• Began arranging social hang outs on their own. 

• Packing own Backpack, responsible for remembering backpack 

• Allowance